Okay seekers, here are life’s secrets (see above). We, here at Robot’s Blog, hope that this is helpful. Now, go forward and live more productive and peaceful lives.* In addition, we suggest that you subscribe to this site in order to receive any future updates and/or upgrades to life’s secrets (see orange icon in upper right-hand corner).

Please feel free to share these secrets. We promote full transparency and do not wish to hide, shield, or hoard these secrets for any reason – public or private.** (Actually, we tried to figure out some way to gain financially from this whole thing, but robot wouldn’t hear of it. Oh, that’s fine for him, he doesn’t pay us rent. On the other hand, he doesn’t eat much [the occasional Popsicle] and walks the Chihuahuas, so what are you going to do?)***

* We thank the City of Berkeley, California for letting us create this important message on their fair streets (actually at the corner of Telegraph Avenue and Bancroft Way [Dude!]), and, of course, the City of Oakland where our production facilities are located.

** Please note: we have no affiliations or arrangements (financial or otherwise) with the floral industry, Popsicle, or any religious group (robot just likes to sit in the lotus position).

*** Please also note: although robot sported a new nuclear-fuel cell at the time that this announcement was created, he has subsequently switched over the a Thorium-based cell. Robot suggests that the Obama administration take a long, hard look at its policies in this regard and, perhaps, follow robot’s lead. Please amend life’s secrets accordingly.

Robot’s Blog is undergoing some major changes. Please subscribe by to the blog by clicking on the orange icon at the upper right-hand corner of the page in order to witness the evolution.

Thanks,

Robot

Attention Airport Security Shoppers,

Over the weekend I received an in-house communication from one of my trusted staff members. She pointed out that the nickname, being used around the labs, iProbe, could be misinterpreted and perhaps have connotations that we would prefer not to convey. She also pointed out that there are already, at least, three products on the market using the iProbe name and that we might just cause further confusion. Therefore, we will market our product by its original name: Invasoprobe.

Thank you.

jack O’Napes, CEO
Demurotron Robotics Inc.
Oakland, CA

(See above: the original sketch for the Invasoprobe 2K10.)

Demurotron Robotics Inc. announces: Invasoprobe — the future of airport security-screening.

Invasiprobe not only incorporates the latest in gyro-technology, its self-portability and handsome, space-saving design makes it a snap to deploy. Storage problems and human screeners are soon to be a-thing-of-the-past.

Invasoprobe is unique in the sensitive areas of full-body scans and cavity searches, and due to cutting-edge technology, searches are now easier than ever — and actually pleasurable to the probee. Because they’re robotic — they’re discreet; the Invasiprobe’s flash memory is wiped clean after every use, and each unit is self-sterilizing. Not only is our country a safer place to live, Demurotron’s Invasoprobe puts the fun back in flying.

Okay, is it just me or does the sun seem to cross over the yardarm a lot sooner these days? Anyway, I’ve been waiting here for two hours and I’m getting a little snockered. We were supposed to attend this forum about small robotic firms surviving the downturn in the economy. It sounded interesting. Some guy was giving a talk on robotized pat-downs and cavity searches during airport security checks. But, it looks like they blew it off.

I’m kinda in a funk. I consumed way to much data over the holidays. Now, work is slow and I find hard to concentrate. It’s time to perform the diagnostic procedure #R4S as laid out in the new Roborean Training Video I just purchased. This procedure involves adjusting the trackback spring that unites the upper or lower extremities of my axial delimiter. I’ll be fine in no time.

the faint, rich, sour aroma
manure mixed with distant caws
an unwanted edge to the breeze
stray twigs – a few mutant brown leaves still attached
broken knife blades of frozen grass slightly exposed
through the thin, white-silenced coat of last-night’s snow
a cliché that crunches under two benumbed, boot-encased feet
gruddererumpt, gruddererumpt, gruddererumpt
the only splash of color – a red, runny nose
perched over a scraggly, half-defrosted mustache
good to see you’re still dead Super Mario
if it would serve any purpose
I’d dig you up and kill you again
six inches of soddened sleeve
drags across the philtrum – left to right
see you next year amico

Almost two years ago we visited The Clark Center for Japanese Art and Culture just outside of Hanford, California. To our great fortune, we met Willard G. “Bill” Clark, who gave us a tour of his museum and and home. This was way and above the call of duty, because he was suffering from a bad cold. The Clark Center is one of the great secrets of the Central Valley, so if ever you have the chance, by all means, go there. I tell you this because the image above was inspired by our visit there. The Ends of the World Are Coming (image above) is reminiscent of the screens and expressive Noh masks we enjoyed that day.

I will also tell you that this is where a kernel-of-an-idea formed that eventually led a twisting path to Philippe the Cinemaesthesiatron. The idea was to develop a bull semen (how Bill made is fortune) “milking” robot, constructed, at least in part, from sturdy farm equipment. More later.

It’s always Godzilla.
The headlines read:
GODZILLA CRUSHES TOKYO!
or
GODZILLA KILLS MOTHRA!
Like I said, ‘It’s always Godzilla.’

Why not a stealthy, little (by comparison) raptor
in a Zen garden,
bathed in moonlight?
The cones in your retina are useless:
your rods pick up a slightest of movements.

Jasmine, cherry blossoms,
and the coppery-smell (and taste) of — human blood.